What a weekend! The whole time that Jerry was in Texas, I felt like everything was just non-stop here. The two weeks went by so slowly, but each day seemed to fly by. I had all sorts of plans for stuff I thought I’d get done around the house, but I didn’t account for all of the changes in routine I’d have to make.
When I picked up Jerry from the airport, I swear he looked so different! (I’m sure he didn’t in reality–it was only two weeks–but it seemed like so much time had passed.) We had only ever been apart for about five days or so in the last 20 years (our 20th anniversary is actually this Wednesday). It was very hard to get used to him being gone, and then when he came home, it was kind of hard getting used to him being home, haha.
For example, he was the one who would always let Joey outside in the mornings and feed him breakfast; it sounds like no big deal, but I had to remember to do that first thing when I woke up. When everything is so habitual, it’s like being on autopilot and you just do them without thinking. Having to change all sorts of little routine habits (even something as simple as feeding Joey) was surprisingly difficult.
While I was waiting in the cell phone lot at the airport (naturally, his flight was delayed), I listened to some more of the Atomic Habits audiobook by James Clear. I’m only about two-thirds of the way through it, but I *really* like it. It was very interesting timing because, while Jerry was away, it brought to mind all of the tiny habits that I never really realized were habits until I had to switch things up.
It’s like flipping the light switch on or off when you enter or leave a room. When the electricity goes out during a storm or something, I find myself flipping the light switch on every time I walk into a room–even though I know it’s not going to work. It’s so automatic!
Jerry being in Texas was kind of like the electricity going out. The things that were so routine that I didn’t even think about on a day-to-day basis were suddenly switched around. I finally started to get used to it and then when he got home, I found myself continuing the routine I’d started to get into while he was gone.
Then we were both kind of confused: “Did you just feed Joey breakfast?” “Yeah, why?” “I already gave him breakfast!” “Oh. Did you already let him outside?” “No, I thought you did.” And so on.
Over the weekend, I found myself thinking of how good it felt to have switched things up. And after listing to Atomic Habits, I started to notice all of those little things that have become so routine and automatic over the last 20 years. Having changed things up, as well as listening to the audiobook, made me want to change other habits as well.
I told Jerry a lot about the book (I want him to listen to it–I’d been meaning to read or listen to it for years and I wish I had a long time ago) and we talked about the habits we’d each like to change. So, I’ve kept up a lot of the new routine I’d gotten into while he was away. Sure, it’s only been a few days, but I found I liked doing things differently and I want to continue.
An example would be eating at the dining room table instead of standing in the kitchen or on the couch or even in bed. We used to eat at the table all the time, without thinking. And as the kids got older and more independent, things changed. It started to feel weird to eat at the table by myself, so I got out of that habit. Now I’ve been making a conscious decision to eat at the table again so that I’ll stop associating food with sitting on the couch or watching TV in the evenings. It’s interesting how something so seemingly insignificant can throw you for a loop when you try to change it.
Anyway, I’ll probably write more about habits once I finish the audiobook. I highly recommend it, even though I haven’t finished it; it’s super interesting and it really makes you take a step back and see the impact of the habits we don’t even consciously think about. I already feel like it makes me notice those things and question how I can make a small change here or there that will push me in the right direction.
Today has been a long (but fun) day. Luke and Riley are in Michigan this week, so Jerry and I took them to Barnes & Noble and then for a picnic in the park for Riley’s birthday. It’s crazy to me that she’ll be five and starting kindergarten soon!
